


The Great Rudolph Debacle

by aqpuppy



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Lesbian AU, Nonbinary Character, Other, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:08:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28328748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqpuppy/pseuds/aqpuppy
Summary: Nothing says the holidays like watching a movie with one of your good friends (or maybe more?). Especially if it’s some cheap mockbuster from the 1990s.
Relationships: Ben De La Creme/Jinkx Monsoon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	The Great Rudolph Debacle

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Merry Christmas. I originally wrote this for a Write The House Down challenge. This was for prompt 1 (reindeer). I figured I'd write a Jinkx and Dela fic, having been inspired by watching the Jinkx and Dela Holiday Special over and over.
> 
> Yes, the movie they’re watching is a real one. It’s a 1992 fiilm done by GoodTimes Entertainment. It’s definitely a trip. Friendly reminder: in this fic, Jinkx uses they/them pronouns.

“I don’t get it.” Jinkx glanced at the opening credits on the screen in front of them. After blinking a few times, still perplexed at the voice talent, they took a sip out of a sweating martini glass, hoping it would make more sense of things. Was the animation this grainy or was it just the classic VHS quality? Their other hand propped up her face which felt like melting off at any moment. “Why in the world would Debbie Reynolds and Whoopi Goldberg of all people sign themselves onto this?”

“Maybe they could have gotten a good paycheck out of this.” Dela plopped onto the couch besides her ginger compatriot and dug one hand into a bowl on the coffee table. “Also it’s rude to talk during the movie, Dink!” she spoke through a mouthful of popcorn.

“It was a legitimate question!” Jinkx hushed their voice and rolled their eyes. _And chewing with your mouth open isn’t rude?_ They wanted to say that, but, as much as they loved her, she wouldn’t fully get it through her head. _That’s fine too; enjoy your popcorn._ “But I guess you’re right,” They were back at their first volume “All stars have _some things_ to hide from their resume. After all, Bette Midler was Kitty Galore.”

“But that’s-“

“Della. I’d watch anything with Bette Midler… I’ve suffered a lot.” They sipped some more from their glass and stared back at the screen.

It was mid-December and TV stations across the world played its typical fare of holiday classics on repeat, but today was not the day for primetime. Jinkx had offhandedly mentioned one night that they hadn’t seen the original Rudolph, well not in a while. Last time they had seen it on a much smaller screen and Jinkx was a much smaller Jinkx. Being the holiday enthusiast that she was, Dela took it upon herself to educate her friend on the wonders and joys of the film, plus the many sequels and direct-to-DVD remakes of the original: the cinematic Rud-iverse, as she liked to call it. It wasn’t like she could tell though; for all she knew, those all took place in the same continuity.

“I know I shouldn’t be talking right now,” Dela stage whispered into her old friend’s ear, her statement ending with a signature uptick, “but I thought you were going to be sober during this marathon?”

“Oh, I am. Don’t worry.” They took another sip, some sugar from the rim sticking to the edge of their chin and some whipped cream made a cute little dot on their nose. “It’s cocoa. Or… it’s more chocolate milk at this point.”

“Really? I thought it was some Kahlua or chocolate liqueur thing.”

“Nope.”

“It’s fine, you can – Wait is that one of the good glasses?”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s get back to the movie.” Jinkx embarrassedly smiled and took another long sip, forgetting about the reason they were over for a second. No matter the quality, Dela didn’t just put it on simply for the ambience. Their attitudes simply remained for the next twenty or so minutes: Dela with her terminal delight and Jinkx with nonplussed confusion about this cheap mockbuster.

“I wonder. How much did they have to pay for royalties for the song?” Dela inquired as Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” started playing under a montage.

Jinkx blinked a few times. Up until now, they weren’t even sure she knew what royalties even were. “I guess that explains the why the visuals are so b-”

“Don’t say that! You’ll hurt the animators’ feelings.”

“Well, they’re not here right now, so.” That seemed to halt the conversation until Jinkx started again only seconds later. “Oh gods, are they gonna use the whole song?”

“Well….” The sample stopped and that answered Jinkx’s question. “Anyway. Sorry for interrupting.”

For one of the longer stretches of the movie, the two sat in silence, occasionally moving for bathroom breaks or refilling (and redecorating) the cocoa martini glass. Jinkx silently prayed to any deity they could think of, hoping their glass hadn’t cracked from the heat.

“Man, they are really trying to stretch this plot thin, aren’t they? Five verses of a country song doesn’t need to take up an hour thirty minutes.” They planted themself back on the couch, placing the martini glass on the coffee table.

“You easily can say the same about the Rankin-Bass special too, Jinkx.” Dela retorted, having ditched the popcorn and focused on the movie again. She placed a hand on Jinkx’s shoulder and rubbed it comfortingly.

“But that was different, Dela. The pacing was good and the story was simple! I wouldn’t complain about this normally, but there weren’t any fairies or witches being the big bad. There were more realistic villains. Like the Abominable Snow Monster… but mostly nature itself. And it was charismatic and the characters were likable and there wasn’t an excessive side cast-”

Jinkx was interrupted by their friend shushing her, her finger awfully close to her mouth. They could have placed her mouth over the tip and done some lewd gesture, but it felt too intimate even for these friends. “I get it,” Dela responded. “I think there’s like fifteen minutes left, but we can skip the credits, okay?”

“Sounds good to me.” Jinkx put her head on their friend’s shoulder and sighed contentedly. “But you don’t have to though. I can take on more. There have been more trips to the uncanny valley than I have traversed.”

“We can take a break for now… cuddle maybe? Probably we can watch the next one another day… when you’re in a better headspace to do so.”

“Cuddles sound great.” Jinkx moved her head into Dela’s lap and sighed. “Hey, what are friends for after all?”

Dela nodded her head and turned off the TV. “Exactly.”

“I love you, Dela.”

Dela shot her head up quickly and perked her ears.. “Wait… Dink. Did you say something?” Jinkx quickly shook their head. “Oh, okay… but in case you did. I love you too.”

  
  



End file.
